

Sam's 1st Birthday
It was a perfect day in Madrid for Sam’s 1st Birthday. The sun was shining, there was a light breeze and the temperature was about 22ºC/74ºF.
It would be nice to report that we awoke to the sweet chorus of the magpies and parakeets which occupy the nearby park…nice, but untrue. His Imperial Majesty (H.I.M.) decided that Mummy and Daddy had had more than enough sleep and that it was time to get up and pay court to his undeniable greatness. I lost the game of paper, scissors, stone and was dispatched to keep him out of trouble whilst Virginia had a lie in.
I fed H.I.M. and took him for his morning walk before delivering him to Mummy so that he might graciously eat the inadequate food which had been prepared for his lunch.
Later on in the afternoon it was quiet - too damned quiet! Sam had been behaving himself and that alone should have clued me in to the fact that he was up to no good. As you can see from the photos, we all enjoyed a visit to the swings for the nappy-bound which they have on the other side of the river. Sam loves them and goes most afternoons courtesy of Virginia and her mother. The slide holds no fear for this intrepid ball of fat either!
After an agreeable time spent there, we wandered up to the new shopping centre which they built in the beautiful building of the old Estacion del Norte (North Station). Sam saw his chance when Virginia and I separated. She went browsing in the clothes shops (zzzzzzzzzz!) whilst I went with Sam to buy a few things at the supermarket.
All went well and we were in and out in short order and met up with Virginia at the main entrance. Upon seeing us, she gave Sam a peculiar look and then started to tell me off on the grounds that he already had enough teddy bears.
“What are you talking about?” I asked indignantly. “I haven’t bought him anything!”
Virginia pushed back the cover to his pushchair to reveal the criminal mastermind happily chewing on the ear of a fluffy dog. Despite the fact that he had been caught red-handed, not a hint of shame was to be seen on his face as he played with his ill-gotten gains.
The label on the dog put its price at €4 and there was no way I was going to Alcatraz for such a piffling sum so we quickly exited the shopping centre, all the while expecting the heavy hand of the law to land on our shoulders.
So there you have it - Sam chose his very first birthday to commit his first (and hopefully last) crime. For those of you who may find my story incredible due to my (undeserved) reputation for telling porkies, please address yourselves to Virginia.
As God is my witness, that’s how it happened!